Nature, fresh air, diversity RIGHT HERE! Values, good cheer, tolerance RIGHT HERE? “The Armpit of Cali,” “Bako,” “The Bake,” Whatever you call it
Coming here might be a big mistake THAT’S RIGHT! BAKERSFIELD Dairy farms, rotten eggs, pesticides,
Methane, fungicides, Basque food Many fragrances to whiff WHY NOT? BAKERSFIELD Oil fields, pesticides,
manure and DDT All that in the soil
Better not drink the water Bars play two things:
Country and Western Looks like Iraq
At least we’re not Oildale Deadly tule fog We’re number one
In weather-related deaths Coughing up blood?
That’s crippling Valley Fever Everyone’s armed
So I’d better watch my jokes here And don’t forget:
Cows Cows. Cows. Cows. Cows. Cows… Noisey toads at night Swarming ants that bite Buildings banned for height? Organic foods?
Yeah right We’ve got the most tweekers,
Alcoholics, lung disease, pregnant teens,
and hate groups in the U.S. Alright… BAKERSFIELD