Carmilla | S3 E1 “I Know What You Didn’t Do Last Summer”

Carmilla | S3 E1 “I Know What You Didn’t Do Last Summer”

[Love Will Have Its Sacrifices opening theme] [Groovy “Life with Laura” intro] Hello and welcome to my- complete absence of viewers. Today on “Life with Laura” it’s your guide to life in the Silas University library. Should you find yourself spending your summer vacation inside a sentient library the first thing to do is to figure out if the architecture-slash-life-form that you’re dewelling in is full on Amityville Horror evil or just kind of a capricious dink. One clue may be the way that it treats cranky nigh-invulnerable vampires. [Ocean waves and fishy noises] [Water dripping] [Animal growling] [Pounding on door] [Books thudding on the floor] As opposed to tiny, broken-hearted college girls who might be– for perfectly valid reasons- sort of kind of…wallowing over past mistakes. Oh! [Book thudding on cranky vampire’s head] Not that the wallowing has continued. Nothing like two months hiding in the stacks because the library’s the only place that you’re safe from the ancient evil who played you for a chump to put things in perspective. Which brings us to cuisine! A crucial skill, when your sole food source is vending machines, is creativity. Need a smoothie? How about a nozzle coffee and granola-bar whip-up? Perfect camp dinner? How about a beef-jerky casserole? Craving a salad? So am I! Of course, there is the option to eat out. Really, really far out. See, near as LaF’s been able to figure, the library contains- well- everything and so any one space, like this room, can connect to anywhere else. Which means that when you open a door maybe you get a hallway, or maybe you get an undersea world filled with really angry shrimp. The good news is that LaF’s been able to crack the code for Howl’s Moving Library. Well, at least one part of it. Three to the left for the central fountain. [Three knocks] [Fountain-like noises] Laura: Woah! Two right for Snowy Uberwald. [Two knocks] [Cold and wintery whooshing] Uh, five to the right? [Five knocks] [FIRE!] Is a live volcano! Five is a live volcano! Oh but I do have this really cool one. Two up. Two down. Cyberpunk dystopia. With that nailed there’s nothing left to fear. Except for Fear Herself. You may remember that we lost track of Perry and J.P. after I- After Corvae stormed HQ? Well despite the fact that all off-campus
communication has been shut down by a firewall even LaF can’t breach we did start to get
some transmissions. [Silas University intro] Good morning, students of Silas. I know many of you are still recovering from the- unfortunate events of last semester. And my altered state might be- shocking. But let me assure you my struggling dears, your Dean will never give you up. With the generous sponsorship of our friends at Corvae, Silas will rise again. And no one, no matter what dank little hole they’re currently hiding in, will interfere with our glorious unearthing. Of knowledge. See you in class my dears. Oh you mother-[bleep] dried-up, saggy-[bleep] wench of a woman masquerading as a [bleep] sadistic, narcissistic piece of [bleep]. It wasn’t- she can’t have just possessed Perry can she? Oh no it’s worse than that. Think about it, Raggedy Ann was acting dodgy all semester. No. I would have seen something. I would have noticed. Oh yeah ‘cause you weren’t too busy ignoring your kidnapping trauma and resurrecting your digital pet into a dead vampire? That had nothing to do with Perry. When could it even have happened? She was with us the whole time it would have had to have been- Right from the moment she walked in here dripping blood. I should have seen it. So perfectly her. How do you breach a wall? Not with a battering ram. You give them a helpless girl and let them invite their doom right in. Months. Perry’s been gone for months? After that long could she still be alive in there? Well that’s the least of our problems. You heard her. She’s never going to let us free. No matter how far we run or where we hide. But we’re safe in here. Were you not paying any attention last semester? Nobody is safe anywhere. She’ll find a way sooner or later. She’ll crush us like bugs. She always does this. There’s no running, there’s no hiding, there’s no safe until she’s dead. Carm. Yup! You thought living with your ex was awkward? Try being trapped with said ex in a magical library after you got her sister killed and then sacrificed your school and your friends and your morals to save her life. And she still hasn’t followed me back on Twitter. And yeah I know I’m supposed to come up with some brave new plan to stop Corvae instead of letting Carm go all Lizzie Borden on her
mother it’s just- I’m not saying I’m pro-evil now. If I see someone kicking a puppy I won’t be all “Yay! Go about your puppy-kicking business unhindered!” It’s just… Maybe I’m not the girl to pick a fight with some ancient fiend I could never beat anyway. But what am I talking about? This is a lifestyle show and you don’t exist so…entertainment! When you’re trapped inside for two months cabin fever is a factor. Try learning a new skill. Like learning to play the Harry Potter theme on water glasses. [Rumbling] Why does this always happen?

100 thoughts on “Carmilla | S3 E1 “I Know What You Didn’t Do Last Summer”


  2. Is it just me….. or is Carmilla swearing (4:05) and a Harry Potter reference (6:06) just a coincidence? I THINK NOT! XD (For those that don't know what I'm talking about, just search up "Potter Puppet Pals: Wizard Swears") "…with a bucket of..*bleep bleep*…mickey mouse…*bleep*…and a sitck of dynamite…*bleeeeeeep*…"

  3. Wouldn't mind watching season 3 but all I'm getting is a bad audio bootleg version oh well I can piece together a Buffy fanfic crossover cannon in my head lol world without shrimp

  4. @2:30 was that a Terry Pratchett reference with "Snowy Ubervald?" A Carmilla X Monstrous Regiment crossover… Yeah, I could see that. ^_^

  5. Lauren: pours water into cup and it turns to blood
    room starts shaking and lights start flickering
    Lauren: "why does this always happen?"
    Me: ?????

  6. I just found out about Carmilla this morning and the date is the 5th of January 2018 and i had no idea it exhisted and ive been watching it all day know on s3 and addicted i wish the episodes were longer i had watched almost adults last year and loved the chemistry between elise and natasha i was disappointed at the end though cause i believed they should've been together but glad i found this cant wait for to watch the movie aswell cause Dominique Provost-Chalkley is in it playing Elle, Carmillas ex , she is my fav charecter Waverly Earp in the tv series Wynnona Earp

  7. The title of the episode reminds me of the song by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello ? I know what you did last summer ?

  8. eu preciso fazer amigos que assistiram carmilla, pirar fazendo teorias de ligação de carmilla com All4One é chato quando está sozinha

  9. "Unearthing…of knowledge"?

    Yeah, the type of "knowledge" that might make you go insane from learning it.

    …Huh…can't believe I said that, considering…won't lie though, I rather enjoy how you guys did Her.

  10. Well, carmilla only follows Laura on Twitter and no one else now, so, that's some relationship development

  11. lol Howl's Moving Castle reference and you can see Carmilla approves of Cyberpunk dystopia at 2:52

  12. “how do you breach a wall? not with a battering ram; you give them a helpless girl and let them invite their doom right in.” oooo boy

  13. I don't give a fu** what anyone thinks of me. I find the Dean and her malevolent plans sexy as f***!
    Also, Annie Briggs looks absolutely STUNNING in those outfits. Even better than Carmilla.

  14. this is my favorite carmilla the character episode because she is absolutely hilarious. between the books and the swearing? I love it all

  15. This was my shit back in year 7 ??

  16. Am I the only one worried about Silas’ students? Like? Can y’all just go home?? Don’t even worry about tuition. Just leave!!

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