Don’t Let This Ruin Your Holidays!

Don’t Let This Ruin Your Holidays!

– Emily, thanks for coming back on! – Thanks for having me! – It’s so fun to have you here! – Thank you, I’m here. – You’ve moved since I’ve seen you last, to Pensacola, I mean you’re
just like all over the place. – Big move. It was a big move.
– Yeah, so great. – I’m glad to be there. – Okay, so I feel like
you’re just like an expert in so many areas of just like organizing your life, right?
– That’s so sweet. Thank you.
(laughing) – No, you are, like that’s what Emily Ley is known for. Okay, so during this holiday season I feel like a lot of
people get very overwhelmed and in your story, personally, you kind of hit this
breaking point, this wall, and I just want to know a little bit about that because it caused
you to write your new book, which we’ll talk about in a second. – It did and, you know, I think
a lot of time the holidays can be a catalyst for
burnout where we overcommit, we do so many things,
we pack our schedules, we often feel like we’re missing out if we’re not doing everything and then we get to the new year and a lot of us want a big
change, and that was me. At the end of last
year, I just hit a point where I said, I am so tired. And I was seeing it in my children. I was even seeing it in our customers, our friends, just this underlying tone of everyone feeling really tired. Like burned out and
overwhelmed, and I at that time actually sat down to write this book and spent a good few
weeks looking at my life and saying, what can I
turn the noise down on? Our lives are just so crammed
full and everything is so loud, and I just decided to
look at things and say, what can I have less of to
live a life that’s more, you know? – Yeah, that’s so good, so good, and so obviously the book. It’s on sale now, which is amazing. – [Emily] It is, it’s out! – [Rachel] So where can
people pick up the book? – [Emily] Everywhere books
are sold, everywhere. – Guys, make sure to check this out. And you hit on so many
topics just in life, but you focus a lot on
technology and social media, which I think is so fascinating. Okay, so technology, you turned down the noise of that specifically. Okay so give us some tips, some things that you’ve done
in that area that’s helped you. – Well I started to realize that when I got off of social media, I got off of social media for
30 days to write this book, and when I got off of it, I started to realize that
social media and technology weren’t necessarily my problem. My problem was my habit
of going to it and saying, I’m either bored or I’m really busy and need a break, entertain me. Like, let me see something
new, something new, something new, and that
constant need for that noise, it wasn’t healthy for me and
I don’t think it’s healthy for a lot of people. And so, I just started doing
some really tactical things, like turning off every
notification on your phone. Did you know you can do that? (laughing)
– Like you don’t have to be alerted at all. – I’ve had this
conversation with so many people that are like, I’ve never thought
of it. And I hadn’t either. – So funny, can I tell you, like I even like updated my weather app– – Yes! – This is such a silly
example, and it automatically turned on the notification, and it literally like
would notify me like, it’s about to rain. – All the time. – And it’s just like–
and I was like, oh my gosh, I have got to turn this off. But it’s like anything will notify you.
– Anything, yeah. – Yes, yes. – So I turned all the notifications off. I started looking at noise
in our home. Like, you know, do we constantly have the
TV running in the background or when we’re in the car is
there just like loud music when people are trying to talk? And just looking at
all of life and saying, how can we just like hit
the brakes and turn down the noise a little bit so
that we can really enjoy the good stuff? Because we miss it when there’s so much else going on. And that’s modern life, right? – Totally, so with technology, like I want to know your life
after you’ve done these things. Because I hear this and I’m
like, oh that’s so good, like if I implemented this in my life, like what does it feel like? Like do you feel like
(sighs)? Is there freedom? Like do you feel this
weight almost lifted off? – I feel like there’s so much
freedom in it when we say, I’m going to pump the brakes
and like take inventory and look around at
everything being too loud, too busy, too fast-paced, too much. There’s so much freedom, and we don’t have to live life that way. I think modern technology
and, you know, modern advances and all these ways that we’ve tried to make life better and easier, they’ve often made it a
little bit more complicated and we haven’t taken the step back to say, whoa, I’m not just going to, you know, let these things into my life. I’m going to be proactive about technology, about social media, about
my own health and wellness, about getting rest and things like that, so that I can be the best version of me. – Yes, that’s so good. So social media, you’ve
touched on this a little bit, but you went through kind
of a social media purge. You went off it for 30
days to write the book, and then you also went
through and unfollowed a bunch of people, right?
Like you were kind of picky and selective of like– – Even friends! (laughing) – Yeah, okay so tell me about that, like what was your filter,
what was your mindset when you were doing that? – Well I think because I’ve
built a business on social media and I use it so much for our brand, you know, we would follow people we thought we had to or I would follow accounts I felt like I needed to and
you know, slowly built up hundreds if not thousands of people that I was allowing into my heart. And there’s that verse about “Guard your heart for it’s
the wellspring of life.” I kept coming back to that and saying, I need to be careful with social media, especially with kids and
having kids that are going to come up into it,
exemplifying guard you heart in all of these ways and only allow
in what you want to pour out. And so, I unfollowed so
many different accounts, good accounts too, and
just limited it to say, when I go to my phone and
I’m looking at social media, how can I let it be a place of positivity to put in what I want to pour out? – So good. – And it’s so freeing, but it
takes stopping and saying, oh I can do that. I don’t have to follow a thousand people. And my personal Facebook,
I also just had a ton of friends there, and finally
decided to set the rule and say, if you get a
Christmas card from me, we’ll be personal friends on Facebook. It’s like, it’s the litmus test, you know?
– I love that, yes. I love that. I have my litmus test of when I say like, oh yeah we’re really good friends, I’m like, but do I have
their cell phone number? – Okay, that’s a good one (laughs). – That’s my test. I’m like, do
I have your cell phone number? If I have your cell phone number, I’ll consider you a friend. – Yes, absolutely, yeah. – Ah, that’s so good. Well and
I love this whole approach because you said it earlier but it is true, it’s like, you’re being
proactive about your life. We talk about being
proactive with your money on here all the time by doing a budget, being purposeful with your spending, but with your time,
technology, your social media, like it can happen to you so quickly. – So quickly. – And you look up and it’s been a year, right? Or whatever it is, and you’re like wow, it’s been a lot of time–
– A lot of time. – Where I haven’t been the one in control. – Right, or it’s been an
hour and I’ve been scrolling through pictures of who
knows what, you know? – And half the people we don’t even know. – We don’t know! Right! – I know, it’s
crazy. It’s so crazy. Okay so, again, the holidays are here, so I know this is a time for
me, having little kids and I’m an extrovert so I’m
like I love all the parties, I love all the things. – [Emily] All the things. – But it is so exhausting–
– It is so much. – Trying to like, do all
the Santa meet and greets and doing the parades or I
mean, there’s so much to do. (laughing) So, what do you do? What’s your advice to say, okay, how can we have less and
actually end up having more because of that and
during the holiday season, just even with schedules? – Well I think it’s two-fold. I think before the holiday season starts, now is the perfect time
to sit down and say, what are the three things we want to do? What are the three
memories that we want to make so that you know, come January, we look back and say, I’m so
glad we went and drove around and saw Christmas lights
or we went and saw Santa or whatever it was. Also, I think personally,
I’ve often looked at what’s the biggest and
the best and the flashiest, fun Christmas thing because my kids need it, and we got to do it because
we got to get the picture to post on social media or whatever it is.
– (laughs) Yeah, right. – But like, when I look back at my life with my kids who are 8, and then I have two 4 year olds. When I look back at it now, my favorite holiday
memories are baking cookies in the kitchen, even if
they’re slice and bake, whatever, or decorating
the Christmas tree together, or watching a Christmas movie. They aren’t always the
things that we feel like, oh, got to do that, you know, this holiday season.
– Right, that’s the big thing. Yes, because I think that’s so true. I’m like, when it is almost more low-key, there’s less stress. – [Emily] Way, way less stress. – You’re way more present. There’s just more peace. – Totally. – And quietness and more like, as a parent, more (laughs) control– – More control over it. – Over your environment and like, yeah. – And it happens in
the margin I feel like, one of the things I learned most through this kind of experiment that I did was that when we allow
margin to exist in our lives, it will fill itself up. And it’ll fill itself
up with the good stuff. You know, not the stress
of getting all the things and doing all the things. I mean, I could talk about this for days because it was just life-changing to say, hey world, I’m not going to live
the way you’re telling me to. I don’t have to. – And your life is just
so much more fulfilling. – So much. I mean it’s a journey. It’s definitely every day something I have to
remind myself of and say, be flexible with it but
always have it in the back of your head that more isn’t
always better, you know? – [Rachel] Yes, so good. – Yeah.
(laughing) – Well, you’re fantastic. – [Emily] Thank you. – Thanks for coming on. – Thank you for having me. – So great, again you guys, “When Less Becomes More,” Emily Ley. Be sure to check it out.

4 thoughts on “Don’t Let This Ruin Your Holidays!

  1. ? great video. I got rid of my Instagram and Facebook a couple years ago. I found that it led me to comparison, envy and judgment and I was wasting too much of my time. It is hard! Less is More ??

  2. Love this!!! My hubby and I created Christmas memories tradition every year!!! As simple as Christmas decorating the house, driving around to see Christmas lights, watching Christmas movies, decorating a gingerbread house, AS A FAMILY!!!! I have two teenagers now and a 4th grader and THEY STILL LOOK FORWARD to those things. To be honest, they hardly cost anything and we’re had these memories since they were babies and look forward to when they’re even older!!!

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