Fantastic Holidays and How to Explain Them


I’m so happy I could make it back
to New York for Christmas after publishing my somehow
five movie worthy 128 page textbook. but… Where are all your decorations? Where’s the Christmas tree? ahhh, newt, We’re Jewish. Goldstein…? Yeah, sweetie. We celebrate Hannukah. Right! Of course! …. What’s a jewish? Wait…seriously? You’ve never met a jewish person before? How do you not know what that is?? Is it a type of wizard? Oy. You don’t have any jews at Hogwarts, honey? huh. come to think of it, there is this one weird house no one ever
talks about… *Mariah Carey’s all i want for christmas
is you plays from a radio* So, do Muggles know about the jewishes? It’s not a wizard thing! Jews are an ethno-religious group with sets
of traditions and holidays. In Hannukah we celebrate the miracle of the one small cruse of oil which lasted for 8 whole days! Sounds like witchcraft to me. IT’S NOT! Are these magical inscriptions? *gasp* IS IT A HORCRUX? UUGHH!! I’m too hungry for this. Queenie, recite the kiddish so we can eat
our Chinese food already. Baruch ataa adonai… oh Is that some kind of jewish spell? Tina: Sure. Whatever.
Queenie: yes. I’m only like… half jewish

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