Finding a Boyfriend for the Holidays | Hannah Stocking

Finding a Boyfriend for the Holidays | Hannah Stocking


*music plays* man: These parasites have taken over the snail’s tentacles. *phone rings with lit music* Hannah: Dad! Dad: Hey Hanny you coming home tonight for he holidays? Hannah: Oh yeah ,of course! Dad: Your mom and I have been talking and we have agreed that uh… Dad:THAT IF YOU COME HOME ONE MORE TIME WITHOUT A BOYFRIEND WE ARE DISOWNING YOU AS OUR CHILD Hannah: Wha-what what are you saying? I’ve been so focused on my zombie parasite research Dad: HANNAH IF YOU BRING UP THOSE ZOMBIES ON MORE TIME I’M HANGING UP!!! Mom:IS SHE TALKING ABOUT THOSE ZOMBIE BUGS AGAIN?! DAD:YES! Hannah: but I’m so close what if they could control a human’s mind! *beep beep beep* *le sad music* Delivery guy (Chas): Hello, I have a uh package for..Hannah Stocking? Hannah: Come in. Hannah: Sit down there Chas: ok, you know what you got here? Hannah: They’re just Zombie parasites they’re stupid. Chas: yo, i was just watching a video about those just the other day! Hannah: Really? Delivery Guy: You have a really excessive parasite collection Hannah: Yeah,I know! That’s why I am doing research on them! Hannah: They are able to enter a host avoid vital organs. Hannah: And mind control them to do whatever they tell them to. Chas: Yeah those are super cool! Hannah: a lot of people view uh parasites as Degenerates… Hannah:But they’re really the most sucessful life forms on earth Chas: My parents say the same thing about me Hannah: I’ve always wanted to try them on humans Hannah: But I’m a little scared. Chas: I can see why. *moist sounds* Chas: Hey it looks like you’re missing one. *Le Dramatic music* Hannah:AAAAAAAH Hannah: OMG ARE YOU OK???? Hannah: THIS WASN’T A MIND CONTROLLING PARASITE!! Chas: i am fantastic (aren’t you CHAS?) Chas: Are you- you ok? (no she’s Hannah) Hannah: I NEED TO CAL 911!!! Chas: is there anything I could get you? Chas: I could get you Ice Tea Chas: I could get you a pumpkin spice Lattee . Hannah: I-I’m fine Chas: I just really want to serve you! Hannah: Am I beautiful? Chas: The most beautiful in all the world and all the lands! Hannah: Do you leave the toilet seat up? Chas: Not anymore! Hannah: Wow! Hannah: You are obedient Hannah: lemme just make a call. Hannah: Dad? DAD: WHAT?! Hannah: I’ll be home…soon… Hannah: …With a boyfriend Dad: ok I’ll see you soon ^v^ Is that for me by Alesso & Anita Hannah: Carry me there! Hannah: Quick learner! Hannah: We’re here! Hannah: ACT NORMAL! Hannah: Do these pants make me look fat? Chas:y-yea- No! *Family Cheers* *thump!* Hannah: oh no no no no it’s ok grandma: it’s so good to have you home I’m just so excited Hannah: yeah I know I told you I’m not lesbian. dad: I’m so glad you guys were on time dad: CUZ I WAS GONNA LOSE IT DAD: how was traffic coming over? hannah: the traffic was pretty light. grandma: how long have you been seeing my beautiful granddaughter? *le drama starts here* Chas: 8 beautiful months! Hannah: ooh that’s right Mom: Where did you two meet? *more le dramatic music Chas: MySpace Dad: Do you have a history of any medical illnesses? *last le dramatic* Chas: No Chas: Not at all Bratty brother: yeah he does look at his face bratty bro: he looks like a zombie uhhh mom: oh my goodness the butternut squash soup *slams table Chas: I CAN HELP WITH THAT! Hannah: no no he’s good bratty bro: *blows raspberries* mom: you know the soup can help clear off your skin. mom: you should try it. *ok this is the last le dramatic* Chas: I-I don’t feel so good Hannah: hey hey look at me just a few more hours until the parasites finds it’s host Hannah: STAY WITH ME Chas: AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH *FAMILY SCREAMSS* grandma: there’s something about you that i am not quite comfortable yet Chas: *spits parasite* Chas: where am i? hannah: no no no grandma the parasite grandma: dat’s not right Chas: who are you people? Grandma: aaarrrrggh hannah stocking like and subscribe! ok!

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