Honest Camping Trip

(tech music) – And that’s how I would
have set up the tents but. – Hey, we’re three hours late because none of our
cellphones have service. – Oh, that’s alright,
I was just explaining how camping works. I would know, I was a
Boy Scout in 4th grade. West. – Great, I brought a rope and what I assume is a
AM/FM flashlight radio. I’ve never been camping before
and I’m truly just guessing. – Hey, that’s alright. I brought too much stuff. It’s all brand-new, I hope no one notices. – Well, I’m gonna go urinate
in as private a spot I can find and hope I don’t pee all over myself. – There are no private spots. (Katie laughs) Zach, let me walk you through
which plants are edible. – Oh, no thanks, I don’t
want to eat dirty leaves. – That’s okay, I’m going to anyway. This is mostly for me. – I’m a pyromaniac. I’m gonna get the fire going and then obsess over it all night. – Fuck, I think I’m
allergic to everything here. I might die on this trip. – Oh, Katie smells like urine. Let’s all try to ignore that. – I accidentally peed on my shoes. I tried to wipe it off with leaves but clearly that didn’t work. – Oh, you think you have problems. I’m on day two of my period
and I kinda haven’t figured out how to deal with that shit out here. I hope there’s not bears. – Oo, we should cook dinner
before it gets too dark out. You know, at five o’clock. – Good idea, Cynthia. We’ve got hot dogs without buns, an unopenable can of refried beans and stuff to make s’mores. – I’ve got beer, wine, whiskey and vodka. – And drugs. – I think the food’s ready. No one complain that it’s ruined. – Oh, awful, I’m only
eating this to be polite. – I didn’t bring any water. I’ll just drink beer and have
a massive hangover tomorrow. (clinking of glass) – Oh right, I forgot my tent is broken. I’ll have to fix that when I get home. – Or you could just forget
about it until the next time you go camping three years from now. – Now that’s a good plan. – Well, there’s no way
to clean these sticks so hopefully nothing took a shit on them. – Cool. (howling) – Oh no, other campers. What if they’re murderers? – They’re probably just assholes looking to party in the forest. (sniffs) – Oo, here’s a fun idea. Let’s play that game that
we all know from camp. – (Gasps) You mean the
one that we all learned slightly differently so we’ll argue the whole time over the
right way to play it? – Exactly, and if nobody
else wants to play, I’m gonna sulk the
entire rest of the trip. – That sounds awful, I’m already drunk. – [Everyone] Me too. – Mother fuck, I’m the most sober one here so I’m gonna have to be responsible. – And the nearest hospital
is three hours away. – [Everyone] Woo. (chirping birds) – Man, it is way too early for us to be up but birds are surprisingly loud. – (Yawns) I didn’t sleep at all. – Let’s all get the fuck outta here. – [Everyone] Yeah. (tech reverb) (frogs croaking and bird chirping) – Hi, it’s Mike Trapp from CollegeHumor. Click here to subscribe. Click here for more fun things and send help to keep me from sinking. Please, please help, please help.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *