Honest Trailers – Star Wars Spinoffs (Holiday Special & More!)

Honest Trailers – Star Wars Spinoffs (Holiday Special & More!)

Before Solo milks your nostalgia for the Original Trilogy dry, discover 3 spinoffs that took everything you loved about the old Star Wars movies “YAHOO!” “I love you.” “I know.” and gave you something… uh… let’s just say different. “Stir, whip, stir, whip, beat, beat, stir. That’s not right. I’m sorry.” Kick off an evening of crap with Caravan of Courage, the Ewok movie set before the other Ewok movie but after the movie that was 30% Ewok. Embark on an adventure with no one’s favorite unblinking murder bears as they team up with another creature that’s better in small doses: a kid. “I think they wanna be our friends.” Together, they’ll search for her missing parents with her brother Mace, a Skywalker knockoff with the hair of Luke and the acting of Anakin. “It looks like the monster is something real big! Where is it?” And of course, Tinker Bell? “I think she eats giggles.” Wow, they were planting the seeds of that Disney buyout really early, huh? If Caravan of Courage is The Hobbit, then get ready ’cause Battle of Endor is Game of Thrones. Without question, the darkest Star Wars movie ever made, where most of the Ewoks are slaughtered in the opening scene, the 4-year-old’s whole family is massacred. “My family are all dead. I’m all alone.” She’s kidnapped by a dragon, and has to spend the rest of her life getting yelled at by Wilford Brimley. “I don’t want you here! Get out! GO ON! GET OUT!” That’ll screw up someone for life. Holy crap, this is a Captain Phasma prequel, isn’t it?! “I’ll have to learn grownup things.” “Execute.” But those are just warmups for the main event. Watch the original Star Wars trilogy lose its final shred of dignity in The Star Wars Holiday Special, a project so bad, George Lucas wanted it destroyed forever. And that guy made Attack of the Clones. “Wow! Whaddaya know?” Sit through this vaguely Star Wars themed variety show, where the only variety is the level of drugs they were on when they wrote it, whether it’s a song from Mos Eisley Cantina owner Bea Arthur??? ♫ Just one more round, friend ♫ ♫ Then homeward bound, friend! ♫ A song from 70’s soft rock titans Jefferson Starship, ♫ Will you light the sky on fire? ♫ or a song from Princess Leia while Harrison Ford regrets all of his life choices. ♫ A day of joy we all can share ♫ Now that’s the face of a man who has a really bad feeling about this. In between the (Ahem) talent sections, enjoy a tiny scrap of story tying it all together. Where Chewie has to get home to his Itchy, Mala, and Lumpy for Life Day, which is like Christmas, but hairy and vaguely Wiccan. The Empire is on high alert thanks to an overdubbed scene from A New Hope. “I want the Rebels located and identified.” But with no help from Luke, “Where’s Chewbacca?” no help from Leia, “Send either Chewbacca or Han Solo to the screen, please.” and actual help from one half of The Honeymooners’ Art Carney, “I brought you that proton pack. You know, for the whatsit… the whatchamacallit, the thingamabob.” Chewie’s family will spend over an hour horrifically groaning at each other while you try to maintain your last shred of sanity. [Wookie roaring] [More Wookie roaring] Kill me! So melt your brain with 3 Star Wars films so awful, you’ll never complain about the prequels, The Last Jedi, or Solo again because no matter what Disney decides to throw at us next, there’s no way it will be as bad as Chewie’s dad watching VR porn in the middle of the living room. Did I… Did I just dream that? Oh, nope, nope, there it is. That was real. “Oh, we are excited, aren’t we?” Aw, geez, turn it off, turn it off! “Those were awful good pies. Best I ever had.” “Fuck.” You know the weirdest thing about these movies? It’s the first appearance of Boba Fett and it’s awesome! “I take it you have no love of the Empire.” “I don’t.” “Follow me, friend. Settle down! All they do is eat.” *reading comments*

100 thoughts on “Honest Trailers – Star Wars Spinoffs (Holiday Special & More!)

  1. Which of the Star Wars spinoffs would you like to see remade today?

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  2. 1:47 The little girl is Phasma.

    I don't care what the canonical spin-off books or whatever say, headcanon accepted.

  3. I don't get why people shit on Solo. Its a good movie. It's flawed, so are the originals. I bet it's prequel fans that hate it.

  4. i have to admit, i have a newfound love for episode 2 and the force awakens (last jedi solo and R1 weren't all that bad as fans claim they are), i've only seen the star wars christmas special for the first time ever last christmas and boy………. No one actually no one like you people say, can critize and nag about the prequels and sequels being bad. Cause these movie's actally bad.

  5. I was thinking the whole time that: 'I'm so done with the whole Star Wars thing…then I realized that I'm watching this in my Star Wars socks and hoodie.

  6. There is no Hoiday special. There never was a special and thats the way its going to stay. I never saw it at a convention late at night when there was nothing to do because a friend suggested it and I will never see this imaginary movie that the world needs to stop talking about because again it never happened.

  7. People always say "Well, the Holiday Special is bad, but the Boba Fett short is cool." As someone who has watched this special multiple times, it's…really not.

  8. Lol the trailer melted my brain…can't imagine what the Christmas special would actually do to me

  9. Why have I never heard of these shitty spinoffs? And I’m not talking about the Hans Solo movie and their ilk

  10. Disney needs to issue these on Blue-ray soon. In a Box set. The Star Wars Legends collection. With a digital remaster of the Holiday Special with subtitles .

  11. This was another funny Honest Trailer. However, TLJ is easily far worse than the Holiday Special and the Ewok Adventures. I'll rewatch the latter three, and be happily entertained. Can't say that at all about TLJ.

  12. OMG that would be hilarious if that was the origin story of Captain phasma but Disney isn't creative as you obviously we're me in fact I could write a way better Star Wars movie I bet my life on it

  13. I think that this is why Harrison Ford wanted Han to die so badly. So he could finally leave the trama of the Holiday special behind

  14. I was…what? Five years old when the Holiday Special aired. We went outside to play like, twenty minutes in. We knew it was dreadful even then.

  15. I genuinely thought that Ewoks movie was a muddled childhood memory when Episode 6 wasn't anything like a remembered it.

  16. I have a soft spot for Battle of Endor, I watched it a ton as a kid on a ripped VHS telecast, complete with McDonalds commercial breaks starring a singing Jason Alexander:

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