-Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg -Shut up! -[sighs] Come on, Ian. Hurry up. -[Ian groans] Saint Patrick’s Day is so dumb. Do Irish people even believe in this stupid leprechaun crap? -Okay, I know it sounds little crazy, but all holidays are like that. Can you imagine how stupid it’d be if holidays were actually realistic? -Ahh! What the hell?! I’m f–king stuck! F–king motherf–ker! [yelling] -Oh, this Easter egg hunt is so cool! -I got jellybeans in mine. -Hey, where do you think these come from, anyway? -[grunting sound] Happy Easter! [grunting] -[whimpers] [retches] -[speaking slowly]: I think the both of our peoples working together can benefit everyone. -Why is he talking like that? -I think he might be mentally challenged. -That explains the stupid hat. -Pika! Pika! I got so much candy! -Check every piece of candy before you eat it, young man. You know there might be razor blades in there. -Come on, Mom. When has anyone ever– Bleeh!! -[slurring]: I wanna make out with someone and blame it on being drunk! -Okay, class. Christopher Columbus definitely intended to find America, he definitely found America first, and he definitely wasn’t responsible for the savage murder of all the natives. -Good. Good. -[affectionately]: I love you, my snickernoodle. -(both) You’re so cute. -(Anthony) I love you. I love you more. -I wuv you. -So… what’d you get me for Mother’s Day, son? -[scoffs] You’re not my mom. -Or am I? Yeah, that idiot totally bought it. I’m getting a Father’s Day AND a Mother’s Day gift this year. Yeah! -Life hack! -Yeah, I guess that would be pretty dumb. -Told you. -Well, I’m gonna go pinch some people for not wearing green. Pinch. [laughs devilishly] [hums] -[Irish accent]: Well, you tell that bitch, Tinkerbell, she’d better have all me money and in gold, too. -[thinking]: Oh, my God, leprechauns are real! -I had 20 bucks on Notre Dame, the lousy– -I caught you, leprechaun! Now take me to your gold! -Oh, dang it. All right, get it there. -Okay. -Go on. I’ll give you some gold. -(Ian) So where’s the gold? [unzipping sound] Why are you unzipping that? [leprechaun laughing] Oh, my God! No! No, please! No! Oh God, it hurts! Please stop, it hurts! -What’s wrong, boy? -The gold coins are hurting my hands. -Well, at least you got some free money. -I certainly did! -Always trust a man in a big white van [ding!] -To see bloopers and a scene for April Fools’ Day and birthday– is that even a holiday?– click the link in the description below! -[cheers] -Thanks for subscribing! Now I’m off to go buy a white van. [creepily]: Anyone want some freee goooold? [chuckles creepily] Captioned by SpongeSebastian

100 thoughts on “IF HOLIDAYS WERE REAL

  1. Indian1:Why is he talking like that?

    Indian2:I think he's mentally challenged

    Indian1:That explains the stupod hat

    Me: * dies of laughter*

  2. 2:06 why do people think that the Vikings discovered America first. They did, but their discovery amounted to nothing, in fact they plain forgot about it.

  3. So now that I'm 10 I know theres nothing to believe in anymore not Santa,lepurcons,tooth fairy,Easter bunny all fake

  4. 🧛‍♀️🕷🕸🎃☠👻👹

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