making Sal tonight’s big loser. -Yes, yes! Yes!
-Sal has lost the episode, so we’ve brought him
to the Cresskill Swim Club. Today, what you’re gonna do
is empty that pool, you’re gonna kick all the kids
out for being bullies. Whether they’re
bullying or not. “You know how I am
about bullying. I don’t like bullying.
Everybody, out of the pool.” So I’m the bully. Yes. Doesn’t matter
what they say, doesn’t matter
what their parents say. Get ’em out. This might be
the first day in my life that I don’t have fun
in a pool. [ Laughter ] Joe: Everyone at the pool
is now safe. Sal Vulcano’s
officially on duty. All lives are being guarded
right now. This pool is unbelievable. I want it all to myself. Well, you will
pretty soon. [ Laughter ] -There goes a splash.
-There’s a splash. Guys, I — Honestly,
I don’t know. Q: Here we go. [ Whistle blows ] Excuse me. Can I talk to you
for a second? Can I talk to you guys
for a second, please? Oh, boy, here we go. I just, uh — I just
noticed the bullying. You can’t bully.
Okay, guys? -What?
-What? “Five minutes.
Five minutes.” I, uh, am gonna need you to take
a seat for five minutes, okay? Just five minutes, okay?
Thanks, guys. Ohh. He’s gonna go tell
his parents, probably. Yeah, that’s
the whole idea. That’s what
we’re hoping for. Sal: This is tough. -Uh-oh.
-Oh, the moms are looking. Talk to this kid
as he’s walking. Excuse me, excuse me. Who are you with
over here? Are you with anyone
over here? -No.
-Okay. What’s your name? -Colin.
-Colin? “I’m gonna need you to sit down
for five minutes.” Colin, I’m gonna need you
to sit down for five minutes for the bullying, okay?
Just five, buddy. Q: “Do you want 10?
Oh, you want 10 minutes?” Do you want
10 minutes? -No.
-Okay. [ Laughter ] Joe: Word is spreading that
this lifeguard is not liked. Sal, the punishment ends
when the pool is empty. [ Sighs ] Okay.
Jesus Christ. -Everyone’s a bully, Sal.
-Yeah, yeah. Sal, this kid on the slide,
when he comes through, blow the whistle
right at him. [ Whistle blows ] [ Laughter ] Get him out
of that pool. Jesus Christ. -He did nothing!
-I know. Well, maybe
they did something. Let’s go. Come out.
I need you to come out, buddy. [ Sighs ] [ Sighs ]
What the hell was that? “You showing off, trying to make
everybody feel bad?” Trying to make everybody
feel bad about themselves? Classic bully technique. Who’s talking to you?
Ho, ho. Come here.
Who’s talking to you? -“No.”
-No. “He wasn’t.
You’re out for five minutes.” You don’t talk to someone
unless they want you to speak, then that’s bullying. Go sit over there, please,
on the bench for five. Bullying. [ Laughter ] Five. Everything
all right? -“Okay, five minutes.”
-All right, you know what? Five minutes.
Five minutes on the bench. You can’t
bully people. [ Laughter ] Uh, uh, uh, uh! Because people
are bullying people, and I cannot
stand for that. -Oh!
-Oh! Q: “I’m pulling bullies
out of the pool.” I’m pulling bullies
out of the pool for a reason. So says you. [ Laughter ] This kid’s throwing somebody
on the right, right? Wait, wait, wait.
Where? Where? Yeah. Q: I mean, that — that’s
bullying right there. You see that? Okay, that’s it. I need you to come out
of the pool one second. -Ohh!
-Ohh! -There you go.
-Hey, buddy. I can’t have you bullying people
like that and throwing people. I can’t have it. “Out. Out now.” [ Sighs ]
Do me a favor. Just come out of the pool
for five minutes, please. Okay. [ Laughter ] All right.
Appreciate it. -Uh-oh.
-Oh, here we go. Uh, I just didn’t want him
to bully anybody, so I took him out of the pool
for a few minutes. Did you ask?
-Yeah. -Is that your brother?
-Yeah. “Well, he’ll be back
in five minutes.” I’ll let him back in
in five. Well, I just — He can’t
bully children, that’s all. -“All right, five minutes.”
-“Five minutes, he’ll back in.” All right, so, then,
five minutes, and we’re good. [ Laughter ] I interpreted it
as a bully, so I just got to give
at least a five. Right. “Ma’am,
I’m feeling bullied.” I’m… Make her sit
for five minutes. I’m sort of feeling bullied
a little bit right now. I’m gonna have
to get you out for five. -Ohh!
-Ohh! For five minutes. Oh-ho! But these kids are here
and someone else throws them and they don’t want to be
thrown, I got to know, you know, just so — just so
I take care of your kids. Only ’cause I — “It’s only another two-and-
a-half minutes at this point.” I mean, at this point, it’s only
two-and-a-half minutes. You have time served,
-Ohh! Let’s go. I only — It’s only
for their protection, really. Joe: Blow the whistle
at her. I’m not understanding
what’s happening. [ Whistle blows softly ] It’s the bully whistle. [ Laughter ] I-I-I can’t do this anymore,
guys. You got to
[bleep] let me go. You got to let me go.
This isn’t — Sal, bullying
is a disease. This whole pool, apparently,
has caught the disease. You have to clear
the whole pool. -Clear.
-That’s it. No, I really [bleep] — I really got to
[bleep] stop this. Everything’s bullying,
Sal. [ Whistle blows ] Everybody out
if you’re gonna bully! [ Whistle blows ] Come on, please,
get out. Please, come here.
Let’s go. I can’t do it.
I cannot do it. Come here. Here, right here.
Right here. [ Laughter ] Come on, please. I’m up to here, guys.
I’m up to here. I’m up to Goddamn here,
all right? Come on. Sal is ruining summer. Five. Five. Five. Five. Guys, five.
Guys, right here. Sit. Q: Get them out! There’s still people
in the pool. Guys, over here. Murr: Get them out,
the whole pool. Out! [ Whistle blows ] Everybody out!
Five minutes. If I hear any lip,
it’s 10! [ Whistle blows ] Look at this.
Look at all these kids. Q: Look at it.
He’s cleared the whole thing. -That’s it.
-He did it. You officially ruined summer,
buddy. I’m gonna pass out. -Ohh!
-Ohh! [ Laughter ] -Well done, guys.
-Well, there we go. Let’s go swimming,