And voila… – Ah, great.
– You’re a true mermaid now!
– Take a picture of me! Yeah! It’s too funny. Ah, you’re so pretty. Oh wait, the sunset is so beautiful, I’m going to take a selfie. What? Zoe- Zoe, come back! Zoe, I want to take a picture too! I can’t see anything, dammit! It was MY idea to come here! DIG ME OUT! How are you doing sweetheart, what’s going on? Well, you know this publisher contacted me to write a book, seems like it’ll be a hit.
Congratulations, I’m so happy for you And where are you at now? Right now, I only have, uh… The price. 15 euros… – Not bad, huh??
– Not bad. 19 euros… -Yeah, maybe that’s better.
-Yeah, it has a ring to it. Oh no, I need to start all over. Voila. This is a nice place. Seasonal tartine. What the hell is this? You brought us out here for this? No, I don’t understand. On the restaurant’s Instagram, I promise you, it was so pretty! But this thing here is disgusting, I’m not taking a picture of it. Look at that thing. -Why we don’t have that?
-I have no idea. Hey, isn’t that, uh…Kylie Jenner over there? Far away, look there. Yes, it’s her, Kylie Jenner, the influencer. -It’s Kylie Jenner !
-Yes, if you squint!
-Ah, it is! -She doesn’t come here often!
-Yes, maybe she has a little pied-à-terre around here. Ah, no, it’s actually a deer. -Did you get it?
-Yup, and you? -Oh, yours is good. Bravo! -Bon appetit!
-You too! Alice? Oh, no. Listen, this was the only thing they had, they’re all sold out of the pink flamingo floaties. Absolutely not, I’m not taking a picture with a tire inner tube, my Instagram isn’t a campsite! Okay, give me two seconds. So, with a #DIY…uh, #upcycle, #green… Well, that could work! -Go, get on, I’ll take a picture.
-No no. ZOE! I swear, Alice, I don’t know what happened, okay? -WHY YOU AND NOT ME?
-I don’t know, there must have been a bug, listen! YOU KNOW IT’S MY DREAM TO BE VERIFIED ON INSTAGRAM! HOW DO YOU HAVE THE LITTLE BLUE CHECK? DID YOU PAY THEM? Of course I didn’t pay, I didn’t do anything, I’m telling you I don’t know why! And why can’t you just be happy for me?
-I AM happy for you! So smile then! I-I’m smiling. You’re crying, Alice! No! DON’T TOUCH ME! I hate you… And that’s why it’s very important, darlings, to always keep with you… …your water bottle, because it lets you reduce your plastic consumption, then- -ZOE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, WE’RE GOING TO MISS OUR FLIGHT! -I didn’t notice the time.
-Yes, but it’s not Dubai, there’s a layover in Instanbul, remember? It’s cheaper, so come on!! -To Istanbul?
-Yes! -And we can do 4x4s?
-Yes, we can do 4x4s! -COME ON!
-Oh shit, my water bottle! I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR FUCKING WATER BOTTLE! -And ATVs, can we do ATVs?
-We’ll do ATVs! Since this morning, you’ve gotten pregnant? Yeah, of course. Oh jeez, you did that to get likes. It’s working like a charm. Since my announcement I have subscribers, likes, I can’t even tell you! Okay, and what are you going to say when you have to give birth? I thought of everything. -No, but look at its face, it’s obvious that it’s plastic…
-I’m not finished But of course, an emoji to keep the baby’s anonymity! Now that’s clever. Wait, don’t you put an emoji on the face when the baby is ugly? -Yes, maybe you have a point.
-Yeah… Voila, I did it babe, I got a tattoo! What? I’m so happy with it. It’s for my love of nature, but also oceans. My environmental personality and all. -You found it on Google Images, no?
-Yup! That’s the Shell logo, the gas pumps. No. Did you type in “coquillage”? Coquillage is “shell” in English… -Shall we? Let’s go.
-Take it off, Alice.
-Nope! -Can you see the book here?
-Just like…that. -Great picture!
-Really? -Really good, here!
-Oh, thanks a lot, babe! -Can you take a picture of me too?
-Yeah, of course! -Oh, no.
-What? -No, listen.
-I have the right to take a picture with a book too! -Okay, but not this book, why did you choose that one? I dunno, I went into a bookstore, I grabbed a big book… Ok, open it, we’ll take a picture of you reading the inside. Like this? No, we can see the word “islamist”… Islamist…ah yes, shit. -You see the legs here ?
-Those aren’t legs, those are hot dogs. -No!
-Really! That’s why I asked you to buy them. Since my legs aren’t shaved, just like that, I put up the hot dogs and it makes a great picture. I got these… Hot dog bites. Uh yes… -Maybe you can try them?
-NO, WE WILL NOT TRY, THOSE WILL MAKE STUMPS! PEOPLE DON’T WANT TO SEE STUMPS! Yeah, but do you want hairy legs, or perfectly shaved stumps? -Come on, we’ll try it!
-Okay, we’ll try. Go on… -Ah no, that failed.
-That doesn’t make sense, I don’t like that at all.
-It’s terrible. -Here you go, babe.
-But it’s not my birthday.
-No, I know, it’s to celebrate your verified Insta! Really? But I thought you were annoyed that I had it and not you. Whatever! I’m happy for you, you’re joking. Go ahead, I’ll take a picture. So should I blow on it? -No, just pretend!
-Okay. -Okay, closer. Come in closer!
-Yes, that’s good. -It’s burning, no?
-YES, IT IS BURNING! I’M BURNING, ALICE! I’M BURNING! C’est la vie.