RENO 911!’s Very Own Tourism Ad

Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Sheriff’s department!
We need this van! Sheriff’s department!
Stay in your vehicle! Well it looks like
we’ve been commandeered by the Reno Sheriff’s
Department. Okay we got this goddamn hippie who’s been sitting up in this
tree for months at a time. The Reno Pine
will never come down! This thing is going to be
chopped down and made into hardwood floors! He’s a fascinating character. He’s a fixture now. We don’t have that many
tourist attractions here so we want to keep him up there
as long as we possibly can. You goddamn dirty hippie! I’ve had some boots on layaway
here at the Zapato Bilorena. For western fashion here
at Reno you really can’t beat
Zapato Bilorena. Well you can but not
at these prices really. Here in the Reno area,
you should check out Trudy’s Scratching Post Bed
and Breakfast. It’s not very expensive. Just bring a sleeping bag
and it’s cozy and fun and I have 13 cats so come in
and give them a squeeze. So is he on any kind of drugs
or alcohol or anything of that kind? No he just said he was
jacked up on Red Bull. I just had a bad show
last night. I didn’t mean to take it out
on the hotel property. I do have a check
in my robe if it was possible
I can maybe cover the damages. $15000 cover it?
Yes. Ooh, a lot of zeros. How much you’ve bench, man? I was acting you dumb
mother (bleep)! It’s a rubber check. And friends don’t use
swear words and if they do
they’re just a (bleep) And that means
ass-(bleep) (bleep) Lady. Okay. We kind of (bleep) up. Okay we are jumping the shark! Oh God. (bleep) (bleep) Oh my God I’m gonna
throw up! Squeak there she was!
Holler back squeak! Holler! That’s how we do it
in Reno, bitch! Oh (bleep) I hit the truck
with a bottle! What is that sound? The sound…of freedom! Hey buddy! Mayor Reno! Pleasure to meet you. How are you? You look fantastic mayor. Thanks a lot.
I feel like a million dollars. Your crown is- Mayor crown. Mayor crown?
The pope wears a hat. I have a crown.
Funny how it worked out. That’s what we say in Reno.
(bleep) it. Suck it, shove it, do it! This has been a message from
the Reno Sheriff’s department. Yeah, yeah. That’s what
I’m talking about. Move it, yeah.

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