Song of the Summer Offers Hard Spankings for the Boys

Song of the Summer Offers Hard Spankings for the Boys


(upbeat music) – [Narrator] From West
Hollywood, California, the only news team that doesn’t know what’s on the teleprompter
before they read it. Anyone who laughs or breaks loses points. This is Breaking News. – Good evening, and
welcome to Breaking News, the show where we don’t
know what we’re about to say and we’re not allowed to smile or laugh. I’m Car-less Mencia. – I’m a Birdy in a Bottle Baby You Gotta Rub Me the Right Way. – Tonight’s first story, Things That Go Woop in the Night. Now these are things like
owls and ghosts and the wind. What a fascinating topic and not much is known about
Things Go Woop in the Night. We hardly even covered it in school. Maybe a couple years in elementary school and then again in high
school, but that’s it, but I’ll tell you one thing, keep those woop noises out of here. They scare the living pizza out of me. – You can say that again, I’m a Birdy in a Bottle Baby You Gotta Rub Me the Right Way. – My least favorite woop? This one. (exaggerated woop) – Oh, god! That was awk-ful! That’s a word I just made up that combines awkward and awful. I’m trying it out. – I know. – Here, now let me try one. (exaggerated woop) – Gross! I want to die, but for a
different reason entirely. – And what reason is that? – I wanna see if you really get to eat all the ice cream
you want in heaven. – That’s beautiful. Now, let’s head over to Entertainment News with Rick K Brick. – Thanks, Car-less Mencia. Kids everywhere are putting
on their sneaker shoes and getting ready to dance to all the latest jams of the summer. – Jams? Jams? Let’s talk about jams. I hope you have some
examples of these jams. Are we talking strawberry jams? Blueberry jams? Raspberry jams? – No, you foolish little (bleep). I’m talking about song jams. You know, music to make our hips sway. – Well, get to it then. – Songs of the summer go like this. God built up a city. He tossed down some propane. It started up a fire and
now the trees are dead. – So good. – Other songs go like this. Spanking for the boys. Hard spankings for the boys. Oh, I’m singing spankings for the boys. Hard spankings for the boys. Their buns will burn. (laughs) And their buns will burn. Hard spankings for the boys. – Really good melody on that one. – I didn’t include a melody in that one. (laughs) Because if I do, we won’t
be able to legally use it. And still other songs go like this. Mr. Hamilton said, “don’t do it.” Mr. Hamilton said, “it’s a trap.” Mr. Hamilton said he loved me and then he took it back. Oh, I got the blues. Macaroni and cheese. – I am sorry to interrupt, Rick K Brick, but I’m getting word that
we have breaking news from the local mall. Reporter Tim Taffy is live at the scene. Tim, give me some of that news and give it to me the way I like it. – This just in, a bunch of (bleep) kids are about to (bleep) eat (bleep). They keep doing that gross thing
where you flip your eyelids and it’s freaking me out so much. I’m about to lose it. – That sounds awful! Why would they do that? – I don’t know, man. I’ll just be standing here
and one of them will say, “Hey, news boy, get a little
of this hot picture of my mom.” So of course I’ll turn to look and there will just be a
regular picture of his mom. – Beauty is in the eye of the something. I don’t know what. – Shut up, I’m talking! Anyway, I’ll say, “hey
that’s not particularly hot.” And he’ll lower the picture and it’ll just be him
with his (bleep) eyelids! I hate it. It’s not fair that I have to be on the street with the people and you guys get to be in a studio. – Anything else to report
about the children? Is there anything? Anything else? – Yes! They’ve been throwing
eggs at me left and right. I’ll turn left and there will be eggs. I’ll turn right and there will be eggs. Where the hell are you getting
money to buy all these eggs? – Fascinating. – Also, someone said they liked my shoes, but I get the feeling they
were actually making fun of me. It was something about
the way they said it. It made me really self-conscious. This is the worst job. – Well, that’s all the
time we have tonight. Thank you to all our
viewers for tuning in. Before we go, we have to
acknowledge this week’s loser. Me! – [Lily] Andy Bustillos. – [Andy] That’s right, that’s my name. Thanks for watching. – Don’t wave. – Don’t wave. – [Brennan] Don’t wave. It (bleep) up the green
screen when you wave. – You (bleep) loser. – Andy. – [Lily] Andy. – Don’t you hear what I’m saying? – I didn’t know. – Andy. – No one told me. – [Narrator] Like what you just saw? Of course you do. You’re an informed citizen! Well, guess what? 10 more episodes of Breaking News will be available for you
exclusively on Dropout. Go to dropout.tv and start
your free trial today. (laughs)

100 thoughts on “Song of the Summer Offers Hard Spankings for the Boys

  1. Damn, after the "breaking news" of two weeks ago, I find it hard to laugh at these again.
    …ok, I admit, I keep laughing, but with a tear falling down from my eye.

  2. At the end Sam says there are ten more episodes of this exclusively on dropout yet YouTube then recommends a Breaking News playlist with ten videos. That to me says all of them are on YouTube so like I’ve been saying since Dropout was formed, it’s a waste of money!

  3. Everything the pink haired lady said was really unfunny…whoever wrote the lines for that, just know that you don’t have to be funny. Not everyone has to be funny. So just be yourself! ♥️☺️

  4. Holy dooley. Lily essentially beat Brennan. He did a laughing thing, and she just did a reasonably little smile. She also had more lines.

  5. The script of this skit seems very odd compared to the rest of them… It's so sad that most of the cast lost their jobs.

  6. dear collegehumor, i want to thank you for creating this series! i had to write & produce a newscast for a history class project and breaking news was my main inspiration for it. everyone loved it! thanks again uwu

  7. When Lily talked about eating ice cream in heaven, I immediately rewinded to search for the context I was missing 🤣

  8. They should do this, but have it be all the people who have laughed the least ex:
    Brennan
    Brian
    Katie
    And one other person. I want to see who would lose. And then one with people who have lost by a lot ex
    Grant
    Amy
    Ericka (Idk if I spelled it right or not)
    And one other person and just see who would laugh.
    And I just found out that this was a finale and I'm sad now.

  9. I wish I had money to support you guys I wish you the best going into the future now that you guys got unfortunately shafted. When the funds allow I'll get dropout I really don't want you guys to have to stop :/

  10. am i the only one crying because it said the person named car-less menicia was supposed to be katie? it says it on the teleprompter before they start the video

  11. Hey guys, the link to dropout doesn't work. If i just sub to the regular CH channel are you saying i will still get all those videos from dropout?

  12. Sorry but Lily won! 😆 Also, you should have all the contestants on continuously, and just expand the current speaker instead of hiding the others. (No cheating in editing!!!)

  13. Honestly, at this pont, why would you play this WITHOUT Katie?
    Her stone-cold sociopathic demeanor really makes this series!

  14. the script was really good but the delivery was off (that's to be expected though with this sort of show) it would've been better if Katie had played all the anchors and said all the lines herself. god wouldn't that be a trip

  15. Wish you arse holes would title your videos correctly! Like "Breaking News", so i wouhave to click to see what it actually is! "Oh, it's that crappy news spoof , well thanks for wasting my time!" Immediately stops the video just to give a thumbs down, & make this comment! Stop being so lazy & either dumb or dishonest!!!

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