Hey wait, Simon! Simon would’ve hit stop by now – if he was as same as the flute guy.
– Yeah. Why are you guys cheering that? Why do they all have to like… strip? There’s something about stripping that people just love. Yeah, that’s right! *cough* America’s Got Talent! Cringe! We’ve got some more clips that we dug out from… past year’s archives. Oh man, let’s enjoy it together. Let’s all sit down, – Take a deep breath.Yeah!
– cook some marshmallows. Get the crackers. I’m Simeon Wood, and I’m a musician. So, how long have you been doing what you do? Cos I don’t know- I don’t know what he does. I’ve been playing the flute since I was 8 years old. Could’ve at least had a guessing game, mate! Oh, this is Britain’s Got Talent. No wonder the comedy sucks. No, just kidding. I’m kidding! I’m kidding! We love you, Britain. Just kidding, just kidding. Are you hiding it? I am. Is it what you have behind your back? I saw it earlier. It’s a crutch, isn’t it? – Yeah, it is a crutch, yeah.
– Yeah. Thanks, yeah. – Do you want to see it?
– So- Yes, please. Okay, here we are. There you go. – Got his crutch out.
– Yes. I can actually play… my crutch. That’s not something you hear every day. Just dub over some random midi flute file over- – Like his fingers weren’t even moving. He just put it-
– It wasn’t even him playing. It was like… – Can you put your bow up?
– Yeah, here we go. Just, just… – Let’s skip to the performance.
– Yeah. – It’s the same thing…
– Dude, that looks so fake. – It is the same formula as the other one!
– It looks so fake. He just started playing. How do you start yawning just… Yeah, like boredom sinks in in 2 seconds. Yeah. – Sorry, I can’t control myself if I hear a flute.
– And just like… I just literally can yawn. But I will say… At least this guy’s flute playing sounds better than the stripper guy. Yeah, that’s true. – Yeah, yeah, the stripper guy was so out of tune.
– Yeah, yeah. – Yeah.
– This guy’s actually… – He’s got something there.
– Yeah. Another… – Are you serious?
– Oh… It’s the same formula as the piano one! The piano dancing guy. They also had an audience yawn. Bro… Do you guys see that? When you watch the next TwoSet video, just go… – What the…
– What the hell? Oh wow! What the… Dude, why is everyone cheering? It is the same thing! It’s the same formula, guys, like… Like… How many times are they gonna do this formula before people realise… it’s all scripted television… – Again, this-
– I guess this is why they do it cos it works. It works, but again, there’s nothing wrong with the performer. Yeah, nothing against this guy. He can play the flute. It’s just sad that- He has to pull out a crutch to get everyone’s – “false scripted” attention.
– Yeah. Dude, that judge is like… “I’ve been instructed to clap.” Yeah. “I’ve been instructed to clap.” That’s right. Standing ovation. Guys. I know how it feels to force happiness. It’s all good. Can you imagine being a flautist and seeing this like… You worked so hard all your life, played beautiful mu- – And this guy actually played beautifully in the first half.
– Yeah. – He could actually play.
– He sounded… great. And then just to have people yawn to that. But then, they give you a standing ovation when you play the crutch. Like don’t get me wrong. It’s entertaining. It’s creative. It’s different, but… A. It’s a gimmick. – Yeah.
– B. I question how much talent is required in doing it. I’d say… the first… the flute is much more talented. Oh yeah, the flute playing is much more talented. There’s a lot more hardwork in it. Yeah. And… See… Standing ovation, really?! Like, if that was true, then there should be a lot of crutch performances in the Carnegie Hall by now. Yeah, hahahaha! I wonder what the Royal Concertgebouw thinks of this. I know. Next one! – Oh, that was only one.
– Is there anything you want to say? – Yeah, I just remember we need to speed it up.
– Oh my god… That was the first one. My name is Adrian Romoff. I’m 9 years old, and I’m from Atlanta, Georgia. – Oh, we did a performance in Atlanta, Georgia.
– Yeah, it was a great, great place to do a concert, – You guys were awesome!
– Yeah. I have another talent. I’m very good at science. But you know, you can’t be a doctor at age 5, correct? You can be a musician though! He’s only… 9, it’s fine. It’s okay. He will learn. Do you think he genuinely said that? – Or someone-
– Or… – gave it, yeah.
– Or the script. It’s like… – I think someone gave him the script.
– “We’re gonna package you as the little…” “overly confident child genius.” Almost like… Ah… I don’t know. When I play piano, I express my feelings, and I express them with the audience. Judge: Who are you? I’m Adrian. And how old are you, Adrian? I’m 9 years old. – You’re 9 years old!
– Aww… And you will be doing what for us today? I’ll be playing piano. It’s not a piano, it’s a keyboard. – And what grade are you in right now?
– 8th grade. 8th grade? I skipped 5 grades. – I was gonna say!
– Why? One more thing I wanna know, how many hours a day do you practice? Um… I don’t really look at the clock. But um… Even though we have one right in front of me, but um… No, not there. At home. Yeah- That’s a very good way to… dodge the question. – Yeah, I don’t really look at the clock.
– I don’t really look at the clock. But do you do 40 hours!? (both) Hmmmm… – We’ll find out!
– Let’s find out! (Why are we still here?) Ow, that took me by surprise… “Piano playing is all about emotion…” proceeds to play FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLEBEE!!! I, I… I… I feel I don’t want to roast him cos he’s a 9-year-old. Yeah. But I feel like we owe the non-classical world, – so that they know what a musician would hear.
– Yeah. – Yeah.
– Right? So… I mean, okay, I get it, like The talent show’s portraying him as a genius, plays a lot, whatever, 16 million views. If you listen just to that opening, D-g-d-g-d-g-d-g-d. He was like… Du-rrr-rr-Luh-rr-rr… The rhythm wasn’t even. And there was missing notes. Yeah. The rhythm wasn’t even. And what was with the sound effects from the keyboard? That’s true. It’s like… It’s the equivalent of the sacrilegious boy playing electric violin by using electric violin with like processed audio. – Tone is no longer a factor to worry about.
– Yeah. It doesn’t matter how- your touch, your articulation… It just sounds like “meh-” Because if you’re an actual pianist, you’ll know the difficulties of… just the weight and all the inflections you need can create just from touching the key. Yeah. So… Oh man… – Yeah. Yeah.
– Roughly, right? But he was kinda like… But… Look, like not to say anything against that, but… Just… – This is just the set-up to it. The lead-up to it.
– Yeah. It seems to be a common thing about knocking stools down. Man, these are the formulas for success. Whoa… man… A M a z I n G ! ! Whoa… A M A- Alright, let’s… I just wanna clarify something like… Again… He’s… Nothing against the player. None of what we’re saying here is anything against the contestants. What he did there was pretty impressive for a 9-year-old. Yeah. But as a classical musician, it’s not… “WOW, this guy is the next 9-year-old genius!” WOW, Alma, watch out! It’s just… Yeah, I mean… Yeah, there’s nothing against him. It’s just… Knowing what we know about TV, it seems very… just oversensationalized and scripted. I wouldn’t be surprised if the TV producers asked him to – act very cocky.
– Act, yeah. And then… – And then like the poor kid copping the consequences.
– Yeah. Whatever… I mean I don’t know what’s the situation like now, but… with the online stuff as well, right? Yeah, people in the comments are like… “He’s so egotistical blah blah blah…” But maybe he’s just a kid in- He doesn’t… He doesn’t know what’s going on. He’s just there to do a show. Mhm. He probably got told what to say for the sake of this “talent show.” I don’t know! Maybe I’m looking too much into it. Who knows? Just cos I’m- I’m just salty cos I’ve practiced my whole life. Yeah, I know. We should just kick piano stools and play on electric violins, and then… That’s why I quit piano hey. It’s like k- – I didn’t kick the piano stool.
– Yeah. I’m Janine. And I’m Sue. And how old are you both? – 23, both 23.
– Yeah. Okay, what’s the act? Simon again? Man, this is from 2009! He’s been doing this for 10 years! Wow… Milking out those scripted performances. Host: Are you joking? Look, I think you’re both talented musicians, particularly you with the violin. “I don’t think the two go together at all.” “I thought the song was dreary and indulgent.” “I don’t see where you’re gonna go with this.” “No, it’s something that I might hear in, you know,” “one afternoon in Covent Garden or somewhere.” “And it sounded like you were both playing” “completely different pieces of music.” “And you just come together by accident.” Okay, so apparently… there’s no good ensemble playing. Cos, clearly, these would be masters in ensemble pieces. They definitely would know. Ladies, congratulations. I thought she was good. – She was good.
– Yeah. We want… the girl to come out, on her own. Which one? – Violin.
– The violin. You don’t do that. – Like, first of all,
– You don’t do that. in any competition… and in a classical one anyway… Dude, even in sports, I don’t think people go… “Actually, no, no, no.” “You lost that point,” or “we don’t like you, but” “the other one, come back on.” “Yeah, yeah…” “You haven’t prepared anything, we know.” “But just come back on.” He would like to see the violinist just on her own back out on the stage, please. Sue? Yes, please. Do you want to? It’s up to you. Do you mind? “Do you mind?” “DO YOU MIND!?” Wait, is it scripted again? HmmMMmmMmMmmmmm… I don’t know. I’m just trying to picture myself in that situation. – Imagine we both went on…
– Yeah. “Do yOu MiNd?” And I were just told that one of us- If you were told that you can go back on, would the first thing you say- you turn to me and go… (both) “Do you mind?” Yeah. I would just be like… “What’s going on?” I’d be like… – “No, f*** that! I’m out!”
– Yeah, yeah. Sue, we had a conversation. “We had a conversation with the producers.” Yes. “…who told us” ‘This segment we’re gonna make it really dramatic.’ What we’re gonna ask you, Sue, is whether you wanna come back tomorrow and audition on your own? I’m speechless. I don’t know. Audience: Yeah! Is this because of your loyalty to your friend? Do you just like… You don’t put someone on the spot to question their “loyalty.” Oh, this pisses me off so much. What is your answer? Yes, I will. It’s not even about talent anymore, it’s about like… basic human morals. Yeah, betrayal. – It’s like they’re making a scene out of this as well.
– Yeah. It’s like… Come on. Let’s just move on. Of course… Summer. – Much more sacrilegious-
– Did she miss some notes? And she missed some notes in it, too. The last one she connected… – I think she went too fast at the beginning,
– Yeah. – had to make up with an upbow.
– Yeah. It’s out of time. Yeah, it’s out of time, right? But not even that, the thing that confuses me is… Is this act that much better than the original one now that she’s by herself? I mean… First, she had bad ensemble with the piano, – now she just had bad ensemble with the backing track.
– With herse- (both) With herself! Okay, if you’re a classical musician, you know she is cheating on something! Not… I mean, I guess it’s 2009. I hope the human consciousness has evolved 10 years from- I want to know if the judges say she’s better off now solo. Oh, so now the judges clap! They all said the first one was dreary, Covent-afternoon-bad ensemble. This is just… bad ensemble with the backing track, playing wrong notes. – Skipping, cheating, making it easier,
– And now they’re just like- playing a simplified version. – A nonexistent version actually.
– Oh man… Oh my god! I’m actually getting triggered! Alright. Oh look! It’s been done before! Oh wow… 2012. Wow… That’s all- At least with this one they didn’t feel the need – to bash on classical music first.
– Yeah. Like make flute really yawning and stuff. Oh, that’s actually very funny! – I like this one. This is funny.
– Yes. He’s been resourceful, I guess. I don’t mind this one though cos at least he’s just doing a performance. He’s not like… bagging out classical music, – fake, scripted reactions from the audience.
– Yeah. Oh well… Yeah. – What are you making of all-
– I don’t know. What do you guys do? What can you do, right? I think it’s a bit overburnt. The roast on marshmallows. That’s right, guys. Please subscribe! Keep practicing! If you’re a musician, keep practicing! Dude, what was that? – Anyway…
– I should have a… You need to get your bowel checked.