What NOT To Do While Holiday Shopping

What NOT To Do While Holiday Shopping


So you’re going to get some
great gifts later today. You will. [APPLAUSE] Really good ones. Hopefully, you won’t
have to go to the mall. Oh, boy. Nobody likes going to the
mall during the holidays. You know it’s going
to be terrible, but somehow there’s a little
tiny part of you that thinks, this year is going
to be different. You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to find
a parking space, and I’m going to go
in to that one store. And I’m only going to
buy the things I need and only if they’re on sale. Eight hours later,
you’ve spent $6,000. You’ve had nine Cinnabons. Somehow, you have a ponytail. I don’t know how. But if you still have some
holiday shopping left to do, I want you to be prepared. I found some videos to help
show you what not to do. First, you’re going to
have to park your car. And I’ve always said there
are two kinds of people– there are good
people, and there are people who back their
car into a parking spot. If you have time to back
into a parking spot, you have too much time– unless you’re really,
really good at it and you know how to just do
it in one move– good for you. But this woman– I just want you to
watch this woman. OK, so– All right,
try it again. Nope, nope. Nope. Nope. Same angle. All right, she should try one– uh. Nope. OK. That’s it. You’d think that she’d
go out one more time, but no, she thinks– then, she’s going to actually
try to open the door. She doesn’t see that, oh,
I can’t get out that way. All right. Nope. Oh. I’ll get out this way. And she’s on the phone. You can see that
she’s on the phone. I mean, that doesn’t explain
how bad the parking job was. Maybe she was flossing
and shaving her legs at the same time, as well. Can you believe that? Obviously, she’s done that
before because someone upstairs has said, I need evidence
of how bad this woman– Once you get to the mall,
something always goes wrong. They’re sold out of
the gift you want, or someone sprays you in the
eye with perfume as you walk by. Or the escalator
going up is broken, so you have to go up
the down escalator. These people, they really don’t
know how to go– you know, it’s hard to go up
a down escalator. This man– this
man’s not moving. He’s on the same step
over and over again. She’s doing OK for a
while, passes this man up. He’s like, how are
you doing that? Then she falls. And she’s back down. Wow. That video is from
two years ago. They’re still there. That man was just going on
the same step over and over. Anyway, after you buy the
gifts, you have to leave. But you have to
know the difference between a window and a door. And that can be hard for
some people, like this man right here. He just didn’t know
which was the– oh. Nope. Didn’t even faze him. That was like another
day for that guy. Watch him. And it looks like he knows where
he’s going right after he hits it, like, oh, I did it again. Oh, nope. Nope. That’s right. It’s this way. I keep forgetting. He goes right to the door. It’s all worth it
when your child gets to open that perfect gift
on Christmas morning, unless this happens. This is my new
Flutterbye Fairy, and I’m going to show you how it works. First, you put it on here. Then, you press
the rocket button. Get back. And then, it’ll fly
up in just a second. See? No! Oh, no! Terrible. Horrible. Horrible. Oh, no. That’s just– the trauma that
she went through on Christmas morning.

100 thoughts on “What NOT To Do While Holiday Shopping

  1. I had never experienced problems with malls, but today….. Oh my God… I went to the shopping at 9pm, and the shopping was going to close at 10pm… It was so so crazilly full that I freaked out, I bought 4 postcards in English, and I have just one close friend that speakes English, just because I coudn't decide and I couldn't breath with so much people… I ended leaving the mall crying and shouting I need to get out of here… I think I experienced some kind of mental disorder episode… Now at home I'm better, and trying to relax laughting with Ellen

  2. I think it should be a law for cars to back-in in ALL parking lots.ย  people causes more traffic and time backing out when they leave…

  3. I hate when people back theyโ€™re cars up like cmon someone could come and just swipe your parking spot like a defender swiping a ball

  4. If you know little about how to create wind , you will know that thing tend to fly toward the hot air because the movement of atmosphere.

  5. I love going holiday shopping for my friends. But people gets in my way. My mom doesnโ€™t like going to shopping because everyone gets in her way.

  6. I laughed the most on that guy who hit the window! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
    But, feeling sad for that girl and her toy!๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜”

  7. Why can't they just use the escalator that doesn't work as stairs instead of useing the treadmill one ?

  8. It's almost impossible to front park i feel. Most people here back their car into a parking space… so much so that in certain residential areas there are signs telling you not to back park because of the exhaust pipe smoke marring buildings or some such reason.

  9. My stepdad gets really freaked out about cleaning, especially around the holidays, and he accidentally burned a pair of diamond earrings he'd bought for my mother one year. Tragic. Now our house doesn't have a fireplace…

  10. I hope that first woman got in trouble – she literally hit the persons wing mirror and probably hit there door trying to get out and then once she got out the car was rolling forward – IDIOT!!

  11. Literally all the videos of the fairy. the fairy goes in the fire when I was little I got a fairy end it went into the fireplace

  12. Yeah do I get time Iโ€™ll bother on that too is I donโ€™t see no no no no no heโ€™s been nice to know right now is just by June and I know that indoor he told me that but you better hurry up so I donโ€™t get it because I just got up to turn on oh no so

  13. I thought u could've just walked up the broken escalator like stairs. Thank you for teaching me the proper way Ellen. U help me so much

  14. i think i would have cried if i was that little girl. of course the parents probably got her a new one which is good, but still i would have cried..lol

  15. The owner of the yellow car…I would be tempted to wait on her to come back to her car. "Mam," I mean you no harm, but that parking is "special." I just needed to lay eyes on you! ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ

  16. The one where the guy ran into the door made me laugh so much. I feel sorry for the girl who lost her toy, I used have one like that when I was little

  17. I donโ€™t have a worry itโ€™s just sometimes you know how it is for for my side and in for my mother and for my mother side that because it has an answer today for it does come out by that when I told you before that her first last name used to be BUNCE To HIEB ER in that time does come watch by so I will talk to her about that and what she says

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