Why I Hate Camping

Why I Hate Camping


I don’t care what anybody says camping is
fucking shite. Why would anyone choose to sleep in the middle of fucking nowhere
where you are roasting during the day and freezing during the night. The tent is a nightmare
to set up especially if you haven’t got the slightest clue what you’re
doing. The food you eat is utter shite, cold sandwiches and beans. Not to
mention all the insects around that bite you, sting you and make you want to pull your fucking
hair out. Depending on where you’re camping the insects
aren’t your biggest worry. These cunts are. Think about it, you’re in there
natural habitat sleeping in a tent made of cheap as shit fabric that can be easily cut
open. There are two main types of bears that you should be worried about, brown
bears or grizzly bears and black bears. With brown bears, you’re told to lie
down and play dead and if black bears become aggressive with you, you’re told to scream
as loud as possible. But let’s be honest if you’re in the middle of fucking
nowhere and see a bear you’d be panicking too much to be able to distinguish the
difference between these two bears. Also, if you’re like me and your eye site is piss
poor, you have no fucking chance. If we move on to the campfire, starting it
is a pain in the arse especially if you don’t have the right equipment with you.
You also have to be careful where you light the fire because before you know it you could
burn the fucking forest down and kill everything and everyone in it. Also,
most phones don’t have reception in the forest so if something does go wrong all
you can do is curl up in a ball in your tent and cry for your mother. I’ve talked about some of the dangers and
there are more, a lot more, but one of the main reasons why I hate it is
because it’s fucking boring. With no electricity, phone reception and the threat of bears, insects,
and snakes. What do you do, play monopoly, piss off. To sum up, if
you want to know what it’s like to sleep in the wilderness with dangers around
every corner and not knowing if you’ll survive the night, stay at The Hilton.

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